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LIMBO (late night thinking will be the death of me)

2:40 AM

Do you ever feel like you’re watching someone else’s life happen in place of your own? Or that you’re watching an alternate ending to your life movie? It’s quite a feeling when you don’t even feel like you’re living your own life. It’s almost as though you’re taking a commercial break or putting everything on pause while you galavant around in a side life doing other things, meeting other people, achieving other goals, until you hit play again and return to your regular life. I was never supposed to be “the other girl”, I was supposed to be the girl. Now I feel pathetic for being on the sidelines and a hypocrite for judging other people’s indiscretions but my own.

It’s funny how certain situations can make you feel so wonderful, yet extremely terrible all at the same time. What confusing state have I managed to suckle my little mind into now? I have many questions for myself I still cannot answer.

But even through the confusion, I must stay positive and focus on myself. If I can’t love myself, figure out my own life and where I’m going, no one will and I will find myself in a state of limbo. So I’ve promised myself to continue to strive for better and set my goals high, because someone somewhere else is looking for that girl with stars in her eyes, hope in her heart, who dreams too much, falls too hard, and overachieves. I will be that girl.

Because I am the girl.

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